5 nice things to say (+ 5 things to avoid saying) to a new mom...

On Sunday, I am headed to a baby shower for 3 ladies at work who are expecting.  Thinking of what they need and can actually use as new moms got me thinking of a post that I have been meaning to write for months!  Today, I am sharing 5 of the nicest and "not so nice" things that I have noticed people saying about newborn babies and their shell shocked, but love struck new mamas (and papas!).  

5 kind / awesome things to say to someone who just had a baby: 

1.  "Your baby is beautiful."

(end of story)  No matter how many times you hear it, it never gets old.  I like to call this comment "the classic".

2.  "You look beautiful."

(are you seeing a trend here yet?)  Just tell a woman that she makes it look good.  Even if she doesn't.  It feels nice! 

3.  "You guys make a good looking / cute / adorable kid."

This comment is great because it's not especially emotional or cheesy, but covers the "your baby is beautiful and so are you, mama" comments which I love so much.

4.  "Can I come over and clean your house / do your dishes / go shopping for you"?

The only thing I wanted to do after having our little one was hold her while she was sleeping and maybe even drift off to sleep too.  Visitors insisted on holding her, which was fine, but I felt like I should have first dibs.  Some wise friends and family members brought food (bonus points!), cleaned (double bonus!) and even went on errands for us.  Now, these are friends! 

5.  "You guys are doing a great job, you are naturals."

Sincere and kind.  You can't go wrong.  

5 comments to avoid:

1.  "Your baby looks just like your husband."

 Mine does.  Which means that she is adorably cute and has cheeks that you could pinch for days.  BUT, for some reason (9 months + hours of labor), I wanted to hear that she looked just a tiny bit like me.  Call me crazy, but I worked hard for that girl!  Just stick with comment #1 above, people! 

2.  "You are going to lose all of the baby weight in no time."

Please refrain from all body comments.  Don't tell me how pregnant (or not) that I look.  Just say that I am pretty even though I am 40 pounds overweight and in pain.  

3.  "How is the baby sleeping"?

Really people?  Have you ever heard of a newborn who sleeps well?  That's just cruel.  And the nights that she did sleep well, we were petrified to talk about them because of extreme superstition.

4.  "Are you breast feeding?"

Nope.  Just don't ask.  It's difficult and emotional and people get upset having to answer this one.  Avoid it, please.  See above for other ideas.

5.  "When are you going back to work?"

Ugh.  I just had a kid.  I want to stay at home and stare at her pretty little button nose for all eternity.  Don't make me think of reality.  Thanks.